When there's nothing left in the world

Throughout the past 3--well, more like 2--years, I have made many reference posts where I state I hate IB. It's time to be specific:

I hate the extra projects of IB, not the IB at VP itself.

In fact, after LIVE09, I can say with all heart and full sincerity: I love IB with all my heart and soul and miss it dearly.

No, seriously.

IB has spoiled me to life. I could be quiet and still make friends, I could be as mean as possible with other mean people, I could be mean as possible with nice people and not offend them, I wasn't the target of unreasonable treatment and I got to mooch off of other people's smartness.

University has just pushed me to the verge of depression--right now, I am seriously living for little moments where I see people I actually know. LIVE09 has reinforced that.

And it wasn't apparent in IB, but challenging the material upped comprehension way, way above just grasping or regurgitation--and, oh my god, you know it's a sad day when I can say, 'that was a stupid decision, why didn't you ask for my input?' and actually have ideas good enough to back that statement.

Which brings me to the next lesson of LIVE09: I hate AA.

JY will mention the fact that I have trouble working in groups with uncompromising people. It's true; I just can't stand those types of people when trying to work something out and it brings out my stubbornness. I mean, it defeats the purpose. But I usually have no problems with the person themselves.

I hate AA. She's beyond uncompromising; she's controlling, only in a stupid, nepotism way. I mean, for a competition, if she at least did it in an objective way, I probably wouldn't have minded. She didn't. I literally did not add any of my own opinions in this competition even though we were supposed to cooperate as a team--no, I did a shitload of write up for her ideas that I didn't even agree with. I don't know what she's trying to prove. And when the written material comes out crap (um, hello, you do realize that what I'm writing on depends on what you did, right? And if you finish with only ten minutes for me to bullshit for, well, maybe you should have thought about that sooner), it's all my fault even though she forced the work on me and never once asked for a single input from me. And she had to be patronizing about how I made really stupid typos--but what did she have to act on condescending on me? As far as I could say, nothing as I actually have experience in industry commentating (a portfolio and a 7 later generally means you're pretty good at it at this level). And when I make realistic though somewhat pessimistic statements about her plan (I say 'her plan' because the other girl was basically one of her groupies and our GL was just there to help us understand the given materials) and the likeliness of us winning (which is to say nil because she's a noob against graduating students--no competition), she's so insulted and condescending again--as if I should have faith in her brilliant idea or I was a fucking retard who didn't understand her ideas.

(Oh, I understood where she was trying to go with it and how it failed so, so badly. If she read that 5-page document instead of shoving it onto me, she would have known too that it was a shitty idea.)

See, this didn't happen in IB because everyone was either negotiating the title of 'nicest in the world', drowning in an inferiority complex (like yours truly) or simply branded everyone as equal. And as elitist as some got, at least I knew the reason why I was being patronized (and probably accepted it). But when I'm patronized on something that I have more experience and knowledge in, seeing how I've studied this before--aog;baorughaourg;oaubeiwanttobreakhernose. (But the problem with that is that she's half a head shorter than me and super baby-faced--I would be wrangling for the title of 'worst piece of shit at UTSC' if I did. But holy hell, I'm beginning to think it would be worth it.)

In fact, AA > (mandatory presence at an alcoholic lounge + blisters) in terms of what I hated about LIVE09. And I've been saying that Day 1 would have gotten a near-perfect from me even with a rather weak networking session had I not been required to go to the stupid bar/lounge because they didn't even have water for the underage--only pop that I was not going to have at midnight. Oh, and I had blisters from walking to the subway station, which was before the competition even started.

Good things about LIVE: the challenge ideas seemed engaging (I mean, I can't make any opinions seeing how I didn't do any of it), the Marriot Hotel had super comfy beds and awesome food. Yeah. That was sort of it.

The real sad thing is, the hating bit of this post--unlike the other posts where I end up apologizing like mad a few days later as both were a result of a PMS meltdown--I'm not PMSing and I actually hate this girl. And yes, I know JY is going to say I should just stop hating.

P.S. JY, LIVE gets a ton of funding because we have a shitload of sponsors. We have an active public relations agent who goes out to get sponsors and team up with current-sponsors to help get new sponsors, too. And we get funding from both the student union, the school, the management program and the management union/club.

P.P.S. I'll wash the blouse and iron the suit. Did I mention how I made my first epic fail of this competition by forgetting my suit before the conference, then my toothbrush on the day of the conference?

1) Have a teller who can do math.

I just spent 25 minutes of my life explaining to her that I needed to transfer 4000 less of my tuition and an addition of 1.5%. I also later recalculated myself after everything was said and done and realized she essentially made me donate $10 dollars (as in, she transferred $10 extra into the UTSC account--I'm pretty sure that isn't carrying over to next year).


2) Don't go in the morning--you will be dazed and seem like an utter moron.

I don't want to elaborate on that.

I've decided I can't do eyeliner. For today, at least, after 6 tries.

But I think the question that begs to be asked is why I bothered the 6 times when I stabbed myself in the eye the first 3 times and then again on the last.

I don't think I can do eyeshadow either.

Actually, I don't think I can do anything. Hmm.

As many know, I burnt out my WiFi back in December, BUT IT SUDDENLY FIXED ITSELF YESTERDAY AND I HAVE WIFI AGAIN.

/skGH'WAIHJG'INGINS;OAI[ORH!!!11

MAGIC LAPTOP!

But it's still too heavy to carry around...

...is it a bad thing that I was cheering like mad (no just mentally, but physically cheering) when I saw the last page?

Only one more midterm. Just one more. Just one. Oneoneoneoneoneone--

Oh my god, I want mild freedom to go harass JY on Thursday nights again.

On Reborn, if Gamma wasn't a total pedophile and Fran and Kawahira didn't exist, I would propose to him.

Schulich is still screwing me over.

My midterm is this Saturday. So screwed. But I can't bring up the energy to do anything about it.

Oh, and my cousins really are the worst people in the world. Really. (We were browsing cosplay pictures and hit this one chick that could be described as 'Asian with huge boobs.' My cousin's first comment HAD to be '...she can't be Asian. Or natural. Or both.')

1) Waitlisted. Okay. That was more IB's fault, but still. It's the principle.

2) Accepting me off waitlist. After I pretty much finished registering for UTSC and causing me weeks of contemplations and half-a-dozen angry!York grad dinners.

3) Fucking over my OSAP and Reach for the Top scholarship. Really, it would have been nice to have SOMEWHERE on the OSAP site that having two open applications puts your app in freeze. Really, really nice.

4) Not fucking updating their Financial Service site with their new fax number.

I am now either going to be just within my deferral deadline or one day past it and 1.5% poorer. Fuck you, York.

FML.

BTW, I apparently got in as an Associate Writer even after my fail!interview. Which makes me wonder how much worse everyone else was...

Remember how I said everything at UofT is done at SG and not the other 2 campuses when it comes to paper work?

Apparently this is also the case with the bookstore. Even if you're ordering books off the SC course list.

I finally know why my order wasn't going through.

1) Weborders are processed at SG. If the books are there, great. If not, they order. If you want to pick up somewhere other than SG, then they look at their stock, too.

2) Orders to be shipped are processed strictly at SG. Meaning when they don't have the books for SC courses (which they obviously don't), they have to order the books fresh.

THAT'S why I don't have any books still. Because book orders aren't done until the 3rd (AKA this) week. Or maybe they were waiting for more orders (which obviously weren't going to come). Whatever.

Either way. FAIIIIIIL.

For the prices they tag on their books, especially since I ordered before school started and the sale hit, their service is in the shit.

That's the 'I'm slightly ticked off' icon. Sort of.

Apparently the Costa Blanca people have lost my direct deposit form and thus needs me to physically go to the outlet on Orfus to get my paycheck.

(I would post the huge rant I made to my sister about how my parents are bothering me, but that's okay. It was long and bitchy and made in the heat of the moment as my parents were badmouthing me \o/.)

I want to go this weekend (nagging parents who don't shut up about it do wonders to my drive.) and I want to drag as many people as I can. Because I don't know how to get there except for vague directions.

Option A: go to Yorkdale and cross the street. I don't want to do this because it's a longer walk from the subway to the physical mall and a long walk through the mall to get to Orfus. Not to mention I get lost in that mall.

Option B: go to Wilson station (I did not even know this was a station) and take the 29 Dufferin bus for 5 minutes (clearly I don't know the stop.)

So who has time and nothing better to do in Toronto? (Pssst, everything there's an outlet and apparently really cheap?)

Can someone tell me why I went to IB again?

Can someone confirm I actually took HL math?

Because I'm not feeling it. Especially when the 2 questions on the diagnostic that raped my ass the hardest were:

1) Simplify [(1/x) + (1/y)]/(x^2 - y^2) <-- I don't remember what drops. I still don't remember what drops down--I did it the long way in the end. It took me about 40 minutes on and off as I went onto other questions

and

3) If r = ts/(m + t), then t=? <-- cross-multiplying; I forgot about cross-multiplying. This took me approx. 45 minutes on and off.

(Though to be fair, I had like 20 minutes left over, so I did everything else really fast. I don't know. I have mixed feelings towards my ability to do math now :/ )